2010: Moby Dick (2010)

Genre: "Science Fiction"/Action
Drectied by Trey Stokes
Written by Paul Bales
Inspired by Herman Melville's Moby DickEnglish

/5

(Watch The Trailer Here)

The Deal...
Described as a “sci-fi reimaging of Herman Melville’s classic tale” (Netflix) by the same name, 2010: Moby Dick tells the story of the demented sea-Captain Ahab (Barry Bostwick). Having lost his leg decades earlier in a brutal accident involving a navy submarine and a mammoth white whale, Ahab is blinded by an insatiable thirst for revenge and leading a singularly-purposed life: hunt the 500 ft aquatic beast to its death. He enlists the help of whale-song expert Dr. Michelle Herman (Renee O’Connor) to ensure his success in a cold-blooded chase and battle that pits blood-thirsty man against blood-thirsty monster.

Did Rights:
If anything, ‘2010: Moby Dick’ may rightfully boast that it is somewhat entertaining (if partially for the wrong reasons). For the most part, it was able to hold my attention, and I was always aware of what was going on, plot-wise. There was very little confusion as to who was who and what was what, and the script does a decent job of verbally explaining the intentions and agendas of the characters.
The lead (indeed only) actress in this movie is Renee O’Connor in the role of rebellious and outspoken whale expert Dr. Michelle Herman. You may better remember Renee O’Conner in her long-standing role as ‘Gabrielle,’ assistant and confidant to Xena in the circa 1990's series Xena: Warrior Princess. In fact, I cannot say that I’ve seen her in any role since Xena was taken off the air (which was a great many years ago now), and I was pleasantly surprised that her acting, even during the more ridiculous segments of this film, was delightfully decent.
Furthermore, 2010: Moby Dick utilises some interesting real-life locales, straying from CG scenery as much as possible (perhaps due to a lack of budget?). Whatever the reason, this fully works to the films advantage: expansive oceanscapes, maritime cliffsides, and vast beaches are utilised throughout the film, giving the outdoor scenes a more authentic feel than if they had been shot against green screen. These location scouts deserve a few thumbs-ups.

Did Wrongs:
In all honesty, I only chose to press play on 2010: Moby Dick because I was under the impression (as stated in the Netflix synopsis, and as it would seem from the bizarre silhouette of the whale on the movie’s poster) that it was a science fiction movie. As a fan of the science-fiction genre and such re-imaginings of classical literature as ‘Treasure Planet,' the film’s concept peaked my interest; however, this turned out to be a false claim on the part of the creators, as there is no content in 2010: Moby Dick that would justify slotting it into the science-fiction drama. One could argue that the prescence of a giant whale is reason enough to label something as ‘science-fiction’ as it inherently includes something biological that is at the same time fantastic, but that would also mean slotting such films as ‘Anaconda,’ ‘Jaws,’ and ‘Lake Placid’ into the science-fiction category, which is simply not true. In truth, 2010: Moby Dick is more of an action movie, and a poor one at that. Inevitably, the plot gets boring at about the halfway point, and all of the events leading up to the lacklustre ending are, for the most part, lacking in common sense.

Aside from the three points I have already listed, there really isn’t much that this film has to be proud of. It must be said that perhaps the very reason that Renee O’Connor’s talents seem to shine is because she is surrounded by such second-rate actors that it is almost laughable. Even more laughable are the CG whales, which make one question whether or not the special effects team responsible for this nonsense have ever actually seen any representations of the creatures: their tails appear to be nonsensically bent into wide, painful-looking u’s, and their flippers flap up and down as if they are attempting to fly. They are nothing short of hilarious! ‘Moby Dick’ is even odder in appearance, with a tiny, impossibly long and thin lower jaw, and a muzzle (yes, a muzzle) that looks more like a shark’s than a whale’s. To make matters worse, he seems to look different in different parts of the film...

On top of this, the technical team seems to have been having some serious difficulties throughout the course of the movie's filming and/or editting process. There are two very strange scenes in which a character is speaking at length, and his voice will suddenly be dubbed over by a totally different individual’s voice that his lips appear to vaguely match. This confused the hell out of me the first time it happened; I literally had to rewind the film to make sure that the character’s voice had actually changed. It had. I’m not sure what happened here, but it is bizarre.

There are some ridiculous scenes and lines of dialogue in 2010: Moby Dick that are just so bad that I cannot possible write any sort of opinion piece about this movie without recounting them (there are so many examples of ridiculous scenes and dialogue through the film, but these are the ones that stand out to me, post-viewing):

At the very beginning of the film, there is a scene in which Dr. Michelle Herman is taken aboard Captain Ahab’s submarine. When the soldier responsible for fetching her ("Starbuck", what a snazzy name) bids her to board the vessel, she is out on a fishing boat with her assistant researching whales, and is dressed in a bikini-top and a folded-down wetsuit. Before she moves to board, the soldier says to her, “...ma’am, would you mind covering up? We’ve been deployed for 5 months, and the men...” and he trails off, as if it is just common knowledge what he is going to say next. What? Honestly? Who okay-ed this line? I’m assuming that what the soldier is trying to express is that the female-deprived men aboard Ahab’s sub will be aroused by the site of a woman in a bikini, and may attempt to engage in inappropriate conduct with her (to put the ridiculousness into polite terms). What is the purpose of this exchange’s inclusion in the script, and why should we assume that any man is apt to engage in this conduct, just because a woman is wearing a somewhat revealing top? In fact, the soldiers turn out to be perfectly normal, sane men. This line was just... just horrible.

Even more unbelievable than this stupidity is a scene near the end of a film in which the white whale Moby Dick launches himself out of the ocean, flies over a cliff (sure as hell looks like flying), and lands on a beach. This is proceeded by ten minutes of absolute insanity in which Moby Dick is flailing around on the shore (attacking? Or something? ...What...?) and the entire crew is just running around, screaming wildly in fear. Eventually, somehow, Moby Dick manages to get back into the water, and continue his onslaught away from shore. It is total pandemonium. This sequence contains some of the worst monster-movie/CG scenes I have ever seen, and I had no idea what was supposed to be happening, but I was laughing.

Lastly on the scenes/dialogue honourable mentions for atrocity is perhaps the stupidest, corniest attempt at a heroic exchange that I have ever heard:
“You can’t outrun a torpedo!”
“I can try!”

...seriously? Was that just said??
Yes. Yes, it was.