5/13/2011

Dragonball Evolution (2009)

Genre: Action/Fantasy
Directed by James Wong
Written by Ben Ramsey
English

/5

(Watch the Trailer Here)

The Deal...
The young warrior Son Goku sets out on a quest, racing against time and the venegeful King Piccolo, to collect a set of seven magical orbs that will grant their wielder one perfect wish. (IMDB)

Did Wrongs:
1. The Acting: it is nothing short of pathetic. I can understand that the dialogue was absolutely horrible in this movie, but the actors could've at least tried! The "performances" in this film were about amazing as the sound of a toilet flushing. Maybe the dialogue was already a rotting carcass, but these "actors" didn't help. The best/worse example of this would be the character 'Yamcha,' played by Joon Park... -_-

2. The Dialogue: like I said before, it was terrible. You'd find more exciting things scratched into the walls of a public washroom. This film possibly has some of the worst dialogue I have ever heard. To call this an abomination would be a gross understatement. It is extremely unrealistic, and sometimes completely random. The characters' reactions make you cringe... honestly, every time someone opens their mouth in this movie, it's like nails on a chalkboard.



2010: Moby Dick (2010)


Genre: "Science Fiction"/Action
Drectied by Trey Stokes
Written by Paul Bales
Inspired by Herman Melville's Moby DickEnglish

/5




The Deal...
Described as a “sci-fi reimaging of Herman Melville’s classic tale” (Netflix) by the same name, 2010: Moby Dick tells the story of the demented sea-Captain Ahab (Barry Bostwick). Having lost his leg decades earlier in a brutal accident involving a navy submarine and a mammoth white whale, Ahab is blinded by an insatiable thirst for revenge and leading a singularly-purposed life: hunt the 500 ft aquatic beast to its death. He enlists the help of whale-song expert Dr. Michelle Herman (Renee O’Connor) to ensure his success in a cold-blooded chase and battle that pits blood-thirsty man against blood-thirsty monster.

11/17/2010

"American Psycho" - Bret Easton Ellis (1991) (novel)

Genre: Horror/thriller

  /5

I'm not a fan of the film adaptation of American Psycho, but I am a huge fan of stories about fictional serial killers and privy to the fact that novels are often nothing like the films that they spawn, so I decided to give Bret Easton Ellis' novel a read. Having finished it late last night/early this morning, I can definitely say that reading the novel is a wholly different experience than watching the movie... but I don't think I can honestly say that I'm overall more impressed with the novel. I enjoy the premise of the story, I appreciate that Ellis was willing to write a piece so shocking and explicit that it leaves most writers and readers out of their element, but, quite frankly, I am not very impressed with this novel at all.

American Psycho (the novel) is a collection of "notes" recounting events in the life of Patrick Bateman, an extremely wealthy businessman on the surface, and a psychopathic murderer behind closed doors. Over the course of the novel, Patrick murders coworkers, prostitutes, and small dogs, consumes human flesh, starts a shootout on the street; he does a lot of crazy things... but one of the problems with the story is that he does a lot of totally boring things too. Ellis constantly goes into an extreme amount of detail about what brands, fabrics, and colours characters are wearing, and not in an interesting, detailed way, but as if he is ticking items off some drab, internal list. I understand that this is meant to be a social commentary, but it gets extremely old after the first four or five times and I found myself skimming through these sections rather than reading them. There are pages upon pages about Bateman and his friends making dinner reservations, reviewing 1980's albums, eatting at restaurants, basically talking about nothing... there is such a huge contrast between Bateman's normal, everyday life and his escapades as a serial killer. I understand that this can probably be noted as one of the charming aspects of this novel, but I dislike it. It makes the whole thing seem very disjointed, and the calm sections of the novel just drag on and on in a boring drone. Adding to this, the novel doesn't really have a plot. This is a story begging for a conclusion or a summative event that makes the whole piece worthwhile, but there isn't one: the novel just continues, continues, continues, and then ends. I still feel as if I should be reading it, but I'm not: I'm done. As it was, however, the novel doesn't seem to be.

5/27/2010

Mati Suri (2009)

Genre: Horror
Directed by Rizal Mantovani
Written by Ab Ac
Indonesian w. English subtitles







The Deal...
Abel and her fiance, Wisnu, are happily engaged, until a young woman shows up at Abel's door claiming to be seven months pregnant with Wisnu's child. In a fit of crazed anger and heartbreak, armed with a bottle of pills and a tall glass of water, Abel attempts to take her own life. Having been pronounced dead for some time, she is resuscitated and awakes in the hospital to the face of her childhood friend, Charlie. Seeking to rescue her from her despair and misfortune, Charlie invites Abel to stay with him in his beautiful, albeit largely un kempt, villa. Here, Abel can begin a new life, far from the trials that drove her to suicide, and without Wisnu.... But all is not right. Abel becomes increasingly aware of a sinister force residing in the villa: a collection of horrific, half-human entities that only she can see. And they are ever encouraging her to attempt suicide again, and this time, to succeed...



11/12/2009

Synesthesia/"Gimi Hebun" (2005)

Genre: Drama/Murder Mystery
Directed by Toru Matsuura
Written by Yuji Sakamoto
Japanese w. English subtitles


/5

The Deal...
Shoku is a young man afflicted by a rare mental disorder called "synesthesia:" the regions of his brain designated to the five senses function as a single unit, causing him to see colours when he hears sounds, or feel sensations when he views paintings or photographs. He leads a strange and lonely, albeit quiet, life, acting as a professional voyeur with his best friend, Takashi... until one day, a malfunctioning camera leads the friends to a troubled young schoolgirl named Mari, and they find themselves aiding a detective in the investigation of a serial killer that is also believed to be a synethesist...
It is rumored that there occurs, every once in a while, a miracle of medical sorts, in which two synesthesists are born that experience the exact same mixed sensations; in essence, live in the same private world. Shoku may have found his proverbial twin, a person to share his lonely existence with... but it seems that this "twin" comes in a distasteful package: a serial killer that targets his victims via a mysterious computer game in which he appears in the form of a white deer. For better or worse, Shoku's life is about to change forever...


Mermaid In a Manhole/"Manhoru No Naka No Ningyo" (1988 Short Film)

Genre: Horror/the worst movie I've ever seen
Directed by Hideshi Hino
Japanese w. English subs

0 /5


(Watch the Trailer Here)

The Deal...

Mr. Haydashi, a struggling artist whose wife has recently left him, seeks solace in his paintings. For inspiration, he secretly travels down into the sewer system, making art of darkness and filthy things. On one such trip, he discovers a mermaid that construction has displaced from her river home. Residing in the sewer, the mermaid has contracted a horrible skin infection, and it is clear that she is slowly dying. Determined to do all that he can to save her life, Haydashi takes her from the tepid sewers to his small apartment where she may live out the last few days of her life comfortably, in his bathtub. Haydashi cares for her and paints her portrait as the infection quite literally eats her alive.


11/11/2009

Arang (2006)

Genre: Horror/Mystery
Directed by Sang-Hoon Ahn
Written by Sang-Hoon Ahn, Seon-Ju Jeong, Jeong-Seob Lee, & Yun-Kyung Sin
Korean w. English Subs

/5


(Watch the Trailer Here)

The Deal...
Director Sang-Hoon Ahn borrows the traditional Korean folktale "Arang" and transforms it into a modern-day thriller about a series of inexplicable murders, a haunted salthouse by the sea, and a vengeful ghost that carries a shameful secret. Haunted by an encounter with a vicious sexual predator as a young woman and determined to deliver justice, Min So-Young becomes a detective at a Korean police headquarters. Having been assigned the fresh, inexperienced Lee Hyun-Gi as her partner, Min is handed the case of several mysterious murders: young men that were friends in life, and have apparently been suffocated by ghostly hands. Driven by her own emotions, Min takes a special interest in the case when she discovers a vague and mysterious connections between the string of murders and an abandoned salthouse in the Korean countryside that is said to be haunted by the ghost of a girl that disappeared 5 years ago. Gradually, Min and Lee unravel the sorrowful tale of the girl's last weeks alive, the reasons for the serial murders, and the true identity of the serial murderer...

11/06/2009

Cello/"Homgmijoo Ilga Salinsagan" (2005)

Genre: Horror/Drama/Mystery
Directed by Woo-cheol Lee
Written by Woo-cheol Lee
Korean w. English subtitles

/5

(Watch the Trailer Here)

The Deal...
When music theory instructor Hong Mi Ju gives a bad grade to a cello prodigy, the angered student vows revenge. Mi Ju is shaken, but thinks nothing of it... until her household is turned upsidedown by a series of terrifying events: Mi Ju recieves threatening text messages, finds her car tires slashed, and hears haunting cello music coming from her eldest daughter's room. At first, Mi Ju blames the vengeaful student and seeks disciplinary action... until a mysterious, mute housekeeper arrives unannounced, and someone ends up dead. Mi Ju's focus shifts from a simple shunted pupil, to the untimely death of her best friend, 10 years prior. As her family falls into turmoil, it becomes clear that this is more than an issue of bad-grades. What Mi Ju has on her hands may be something supernatural; something that she must search her traumatic long-buried past to conquer...

11/05/2009

Martyrs (2008)

Genre: Horror/Drama/Thriller
Directed by Pascal Laugier
Written by Pascal Laugier
French w. English Dub/Subtitles


/5


(Watch the Trailer Here)


The Deal...
As a young girl, Lucy spends years imprisoned and severally abused before making a daring and seemingly-impossible escape and taking refuge at an orphanage where she is haunted by the images of her captors and their brutality. Here she makes a lifelong vow of friendship with fellow orphan, Anna. "Martyrs" takes place fifteen years later. The girls are still inseparable. Anna has grown into a decent and rational adult, but is subject to the whims of the violent, irrational creature that Lucy has become. Bent on finding and killing the monsters that starved and tortured her as a child and haunted by the yurei-like ghost of a disfigured woman, Lucy leads Anna into a labyrinth of vengeance, bloodshed and malice where she soon falls prey and prisoner to a mysterious organization bent on turning young women into "martyrs:" a being that is transformed through suffering.

Book of Blood (2008)

Genre: Horror/Absolute Garbage
Directed by John Harrison
Written by John Harrison & Darin Silverman
Based on short stories by Clive Barker
English

/5


(Watch the Trailer Here)

The Deal...
Mary Florescu is a clairvoyant. Since she was only a child, she has had visions of the other world: strange, tortured children and fountains spewing blood. She has made a living investigating paranormal happenings and writing best-selling novels about her experiences with the supernatural. When she decides to take on a teaching position at an out-of-town collegiate, a colleague reveals the existence of a local haunted house that is rumoured to have been the site of several grisly murders. With the help of tech-savvy skeptic Reg, Mary moves into the house, determined to uncover the secrets of its past and write another popular novel. Along the way, Mary recruits student Simon; a troubled young psychic that, at the age of 9, foresaw his older brother's untimely death. Little does the group know that the house is an "intersection:" a place where highways of the dead meet and spill over into our world. The dead are determined to have their stories told and not to fade away into obscurity, and they have chosen Simon as their "book:" a Book of Blood.


8/07/2009

Ashura: Demon Slayer/"Blood Gets In Your Eyes" (2005)

Genre: "Horror"/Samurai/Action/Fantasy
Directed by Yojiro Takita
Written by Sei Kawaguchi, Masashi Todayama & Kazuki Nakashima
Japanese with English subs

/5


(Watch the Trailer Here)

The Deal...
Izumo, revered leading man of a small medieval Japanese theatre has a secret: he was once a Demon Warden- a warrior with the charge of ridding medieval Edo of its on-going demon infestation. Now enjoying a largely event-less existence, Izumo believes his demon-hunting days are long over, but his life is turned upside-down when he encounters a mysterious girl named Tsubaki with an eye-shaped scar on her back that seems to be growing in size with each encounter. As Izumo pursues Tsubaki for her love and companionship, Jaku, Demon Warden and Izumo's ex-colleague, along with the demon priestess Bizan are pursuing her for a much different reasons: they believe that she is the key to awakening the long-sleeping demon emperor Ashura - for it is in Edo, the bridge between the world of the living and the damned, that Ashura is prophesied to finally appear.